Shamanic Princes Fanfic: All Turn
by Jade Griffin
Summary: What happened to Graham after he was banished? This story reveals all, as well as what Yord actually is/was.


"All-Turn"  
by ML/JG  
2.9.03 to 10.9.07

Eyes... Eyes everywhere. Looking, piercing, searing. Hunting...

 _Tiara..._

 _She isn't here..._

The broken creature whimpered like a dog without his mistress, until a name, a face, flashed before his eyes. The last face...

 _Kagetsu..._

A feral growl erupted from the creature's throat. He rose up, striking out at the eyes all around, fear crushed by sudden rage.

The eyes grew faces, and bodies... _Had they always been...?_ ...Children? They scattered at his ferocity.

Insecurity, and fear, lapped at his mind like incessant waves. Graham sank to his knees, covering his head with the limbs his Partner... his Tiara... had bestowed upon him.

The children encroached once more.

Pitiable, fear-stricken, and lost, Graham curled in a tight ball and wished for his existence to end.

A calm and cool breeze slowly enveloped him. The desire for sleep became first and foremost on his weary mind. Sleep to renew. Sleep to heal. Only sleep...

He slipped into it with barely any prodding and did not feel the hands upon his battered body.

"Its appearance has not changed?"

"No."

One and Two turned their eyes on Three.

"Strong bonds... It must be very hard, dealing with such a thing."

One nodded agreement.

"Was it not completely freed?" Two queried.

Three regarded Two with an air of mild condescension. "Does it look free?"

No. The new arrival was at this very moment struggling with all its might to break loose from the inner room where it was being held.

Two examined the floor. "... My judgment was perhaps harsh."

"There can be nothing done of it now. However," Four turned slowly in Two's direction. "this matter will likely fall on you for a resolve. This _is_ your area, after all, and it cannot stay as it is."

"...I understand."

Fighting for breath beyond ragged gasps, Graham attacked yet again what appeared to be a door. It hurt, his body, even before his pounding on the non-metal substance comprising four walls, ceiling, and floor. Kagetsu... Yes! Use the rage!

Unrelenting, both bare stump and right hand bloody, he would use his feet, even his head, if they would cave the door.

"That won't do any good." started a soft and rather bored feminine voice.

Graham whirled, crouching in the same move in preparation for an attack. There was a ... a woman in the room! A tall woman of blue hair and shear clothing. Shocked at the abrupt person, he faltered, took a step back.

"What are you called?" she asked, perfectly at ease.

He hesitated. "...Who...?"

The blue-haired woman bent closer, slowly, and asked again, "What... are... you... called?"

"G-... Ga-..."

The woman shook her head pityingly. "What a mess you are. Why hurt yourself so much?" She stepped closer, reached down toward him.

He folded, dodged the threatening person, and leaped right for her. Without his clawed arm, he had only his right hand and feet. Efficient enough, surely, to afford some protection as he lashed out.

None of them connected with the blue woman. He passed right through her and smacked into the floor. Rolling, he sprung up, at the ready. _How...?_

"If my presence disturbs you that much, tell me what you are called and I shall leave. I cannot before then."

What game was this? What new tactic was he seeing? His head felt hot, heavy. Hard to think it out. How to get out?!

"A name? Please." the personage tried, hating to have to sink so low.

Was it... a dream? She could not be touched. Could she touch him? Would she really go if he said...? His name...

He straightened. Name? No. Not that one. That was from before. He had only one name now.

Eyeing the woman with his one eye, feeling naked without his mask, without his claws, he faced the stranger fully and with a sense of pride. "Graham. I am Graham."

The blue woman gave no reaction. Her hand went up, and that was all he saw before light flooded in from everywhere! His eye! Both limbs came up to protect it, protect him, but nothing came down. There was no attack. Only the bright light.

Then sound. Birds... No. Birds, and voices. Children?

His arm was grabbed. Gently but with great strength, he was tugged onward. The air was warm, the light was warm. Like summer... Fragrant blossoms on the air... He was outside! How...? This was no dream. So real... So very real.

The children pulled him on, laughing and carefree. They frightened him. Un-natural... He blinked the tearing from his eye, if only for a clearer look. This could not be a safe place. There were no safe places anymore. He needed to see!

They called his name in a laughing and innocent chorus that sent a chill down his spine. Just as this could not be a dream, these were no children...

He wrenched himself from their grasp, leaped away. He saw much better as his eye adjusted. The children...

Tiara... They all held the face of Tiara!

A strangled sound emerged from his throat. With a step forward, Graham immediately froze. He _knew_. None of them were Tiara. He knew!

They were silent now, standing still, the breeze blowing their simple dresses in a soft dance. All watching him with their unwavering eyes.

"Begone!" he cried, swiping at the image before his eye. He couldn't bear the sight, covered his vision to darkness as he sank to the sweetly scented grass. Coarse sobs escaped him as he begged once more for an end. "...begone..."

"Their presence disturbs you."

The blue woman! His instincts for self-preservation cut through the breakdown. His eye swung up, scanned all about, body tense. No children. No woman.

"That is not their intention."

He could not see her. Could not tell the direction from her voice. Yet... He _knew_, just as he knew the children were false, that the blue woman was right in front of him. Again, he took steps back. She was too close.

The blue woman sighed. "I will not approach, Graham. You are too violent and unruly for that, which is why you have been placed here."

The woman's words stung bitterly. More than he could have thought. He felt their slice like razor wire to flesh! Pain, at mere words...?

She felt him an animal, a savage. He was not! He was not...

"You require food?"

A table, a chair, a whole affair appeared on the open grasslands. And food. Graham dove for the plate and scurried back to his position, warily examining the food before engulfing it. Hunger? Oh yes. He felt it as he felt everything. This gifted body was no mere vessel. It was he, and now all he had.

Graham all but choked during his ravenous eating. He saw a brief flash, from the Blue Woman's perspective. To her, he _was_ an animal. A scrounging, dirty, violent animal.

Then what was she?

He watched where he knew her to be, eating quickly but with less ferocity. It was not wrong to seem like an animal. It would be wrong to truly believe he was one... Tiara had taught him that much of himself, and for that, he was forever grateful.

"...Perhaps after a bath, you may feel capable of communication."

Rudeness. It reminded him inescapably of Tiara. How could he mind? He'd cherished every moment his partner spoke to him.

The Blue Woman's presence vanished from his senses, a bath coalescing in her place.

Graham's mind turned the events over greatly before ever coming near the thing. This was not his own world. Very far from it. But this was not the Guardian World, and it was not the Earth World either. This place... It was new to him. New things frightened him. He desired to return to Tiara's side, but as a banished one... Was such a thing possible? If Tiara desired it, anything were possible. Why then wasn't he by her side? Why hadn't she called him to her? Graham fought with himself, denying the possibility that she had forgotten all about him, had moved on. _NO! It isn't true! It can't be..._

His jaws clenched, his right arm splitting as it did in fright or rage to slap upon the ground. She couldn't have removed him from her heart. He wouldn't believe it! So in this place where many things seemed possible, he vowed to find a way back to her or die trying. The arm reformed to normalcy as he calmed.

Eyeing the bath speculatively, Graham undid the remains of his clothes. If this was the only way to talk to the Blue Woman, he would do so, to learn of a way to reunite with Tiara. Always for Tiara.

Three was surprised to learn of it. "Has it no other motivations? No personal drives?"

"That is not known." Two answered regretfully.

"Then how did it arrive here as it did? Something is surely amiss."

Two sighed. "Divining that answer is another of my tasks. It will take much time with this one, I'm afraid."

"Take as much as is needed. We do not want a repeat of The Throne, after all." wise Four added.

"Truly. There is little desire for haste. I enjoy this one quite immensely." Five was all but grinning with gluttony. "Not as tasty as Yord, but this one leaves no aftertaste."

One executed a slow turn towards Five. "We are not here for snacks. And its presence is not for the taking. We will have none of that from you this time."

Berated, Five remained silent.

It was Four who opened the question, to Two. "Are you certain you can handle this creature? It seems very strong for one of its kind. Very difficult and counterproductive for our designs."

Two's head swung up, eyed the nobility of Four. "I have not failed yet. I do not intend to."

One bowed low. "So be it. We leave all to you in this matter."

The warm water felt very good. He didn't like it, that feeling. Only Tiara should be able to create such things. He hated that his tormented body eased in the calm steam. He shouldn't enjoy something that did not come from Tiara. Yet... His body refused to tense, refused to let him thrash about and disturb the calm, the simple pleasure of soaking clean. He hated that it liked this, yet he could not prevent the enjoying of it.

Retaining an unsettled mind in the warmth of calm was very difficult. Questions lingered only. Graham considered each one, mind bobbing idly as his body remained submerged.

 _Where is here?_

 _What is here?_

 _Who is the Blue Woman?_

 _How does one create something from nothing?..._

Creation... Destruction... The essence of being a caretaker of existence. Such foolish thoughts. The Blue Woman could not be a god. He would not believe it.

But... Tiara... Was she not his own God? Creator, Destroyer, Tormentor, Joy-Bringer. Limited power, but unlike himself, rife with frailties, she was perfect in ways he could not comprehend. It was not his place to comprehend. Simply gazing upon the forbidden face, or to touch her-

Useless! Such thoughts were useless. He was useless!

Graham sat up quickly, water swishing nearly over the edge in reaction. Enough bothersome calm. He reached over the edge for the hanging towel...

And noticed for the first time that his tattered garments were gone.

He leaped from the bath, unconcerned with his bare state. Those garments had come from Tiara! Where...?!

"Where are they!?" he demanded, senses attuned to the first hint of another presence.

There! Mere steps away!

"What?" The abused clothing appeared hanging in the air. "These?" Dressed once more in the shear clothing, she appeared even taller than last time. Her slender hand coalesced around the clothes, holding them in place just above him.

He dove for the cloth, but simply passed through it.

"GIVE THEM BACK!" he screamed, launching himself time and again to attempt vane snatches.

A sigh fluttered past the Blue Woman's thin lips. "Futile."

He continued the futility until he had exhausted nearly all strength in the attempts to regain his precious clothes, which took some time. Gasping for breath, Graham was confused. What happened to his strength? Why couldn't he take back what was his?

"Have I your attention now?" she asked.

"Please..." He would beg if he had to.

"I will not hear you until you have properly clothed yourself." Blunt and to the point were the snapped words.

Jaw clenched, he was about to make a retort to the contrary, and lack of cover, when a set dropped on top of him from above.

Suppressing a growl, he tried his best to rip the finery, jabbing arms and legs in the appropriate slots in order to tear them. It didn't work.

"Graham," The Blue Woman's eyes settled on his one. "We do not often receive creatures such as yourself but we are not unprepared. How does it fit?"

"My arm?" He held up the short and misfigured left.

"I do hope you're asking if we've appropriate implements, as we do not take kindly to requests of bioregeneration here. Unfortunately, if you thought to arrive wearing any previous adornments or aids of metal or magic, no such thing could arrive here. Regrettably. I'd care to have a look at them myself."

"Take me back."

The Blue Woman stared at him blankly, then laughed. All-out unbased laughter. "Take you back? You haven't the slightest idea where you stand and yet you make such a demand, without knowing what rules you wish to cross! It is the funniest thing I've heard in quite an audacious amount of time!"

"Stop laughing! I can't stay here! I'll go mad if I don't-"

"See Tiara? Hm. So we've heard." The Blue Woman had sobered in the blink of an eye, her piercing cold eyes seeing right to his very being. For one moment, for the second time in his existence, Graham felt completely naked.

"Please, will you help me?"

"That is all you can think to ask in the time you've been here?"

Her stare sent chills across sensitive flesh. A new sensation. There was something so awe-filled and terrible about the being before him. She at times filled him with rage, then fits of terror. The urge to fight and to flee vied considerably within him!

"Who... Who are you?" Fear won.

"Hm." was the only reply given.

He began to tremble like a scared animal as the cage not before seen seemed to close in on him. Fear of no escape, no release from his captors, nor any hope of returning to the wild of Tiara's eyes.

"NnooOOOO!" His roar crescendoing, it echoed against surfaces that were not seen, mountains that were not real, vibrated through even his own body. He wouldn't let that cage close. He'd die first!

Eyes locked with single-minded determination on the wrecked garments still suspended in the air, Graham focused every part of his being on that one target and-

They burst into flames and shriveled into a puff and wisp of smoke in all but a blink of an eye.

"No. Noooo..." Graham's muted wail was pressed into the ground as his knees gave out and he fell. Shattered.

Fading away from the sight, Two doubted it could understand the motives behind the act. That was entirely the problem. And, unfortunately, it was therefore Two's problem. Didn't the others realize how difficult it was to wield the full potential of compassion effectively?

Two sighed, shut Graham out of all thoughts. Just for the moment. It was needed, though Two returned to consideration of the beguiling creature soon enough. Such an unusual find, it was. Not like Yord, as the others thought. No, Graham was quite a bit different.

 _Gone. Gone, gone gone..._

He no longer wished to be free of his mortality. It was the last, the only thing remaining of Tiara's gifts that he could see, could feel. In a place so terrifying, he feared every second that passed would bring the Blue Woman again to take even that from him. He was powerless!

Like he'd been before realizing what Tiara was to him.

 _No! There_ _ **is**_ _nothing before Tiara!_

It did no good, his denials. The thoughts were prodded up, as if one wished to see the memories he held buried for the sole reason that he couldn't bear to look at them.

A grey plateau of rocks swam up from his recollections. It rushed by so fast, details were hard to make out. Needn't. He knew the area quite well. Almost as much a part of him as the air he currently breathed in and out. Rapid breath... He was running, though he looked very different from his current form. He wasn't afraid, was never afraid at this point in his life. No. He was in the chase. It was thrilling! He struck out at his target, feeling extreme satisfaction in catching his next meal.

Gradual pain, both emotional and physical, oozed onto the memory and coated it to darkness, seemed to eat away at his mind as the hurting intensified. It began to pound like the loudest of drums!

Grabbing his skull, the tortured creature howled. "Stop, stop, STOP, STOP, STOP!"

And it ceased.

No pounding. No drumming pain. No memories.

 _Why... Why does it still hurt?_

Graham's weeping flowed across the grassy field, his first heartrending solo.

A gentle touch brushed sweaty hair from his anguished face. Graham froze, waited, sensed nothing. Was it the wind? The wind...

A sigh. His own. The torture had passed. All of it. The wind caressed his face. He did not hate its feather-light compassion. Such delicate sympathy... There were such things in this world? He lay still, at ease, and took slow breaths of the cool, fresh air. Another first, for him to welcome such kind things. It brought something else that was new. A feeling he did not know. Like determination but without the ferocity. Instilling the belief that things may become easier here for him. Graham had never known the feeling before, though any other would immediately name it hope.

He lay on the ground and examined the feeling with the curiosity of a child, doing nothing more. To touch it or look at it too closely might scare it away. He... He didn't want that. He liked this feeling. It didn't frighten him.

An animal- a small scurrier- wandered into his view. Eye latching onto it by instinct, he merely watched it.

 _How did a mitchuu come to be here?_

Strange. He felt no desire to snatch it up and eat it. They were very good in fact, yet he wanted only to watch it.

The little furry crept closer, nose twitching as it studied him. Deemed him unthreatening, too, and placed a tiny paw on his incomplete arm. It cocked its head at him, large funnel ears tweaked his way. He gazed back with his one eye and they remained so for some time.

"NEVER interrupt me!" Two declared as soon as was allowable.

Five cowered slightly. "I was only looking."

"You know as well as any that such is not allowed during a bend." Sighing, One glanced at Two, confirming the other's ability to calm and let pass what disaster had nearly occurred.

"Progress was being made. Need we sequester you during its time here?" Three posed. "You've made it very difficult already. We cannot chance it finding us."

"Ridiculous." Five scoffed, though for Three to suggest it...

One rose, becoming bored with Five's antics. "You would be greatly surprised. I am, at the fact that you did not see the potential within the creature yourself, as you've had the second-best look inside."

"Yes." Two interrupted further debate, if indeed there would have been. "This one has that potential. That must be why it is here."

Four considered that. "Perhaps. And perhaps not."

One drew a semblance of concern. "Do you see something more?"

"Hm."

"If there is something more, I must know." Two closed in on Four.

"Not... at this time." Which was all Four would say.

He must've fallen asleep, for he opened his eye on a night sky. The mitchuu was curled up beside him in a furry ball. Warm. Hot.

Graham attempted to rise but felt a great ache throughout his body. A throbbing pain that had him flat on his back again. The mitchuu had scurried away at his first movements and regarded him curiously, and with a sense of pity as he groaned. What was happening to him? Why did he hurt so?

Then he heard them. The soft step of the returning 'children'. He would have moved away just as the mitchuu, dashing out of sight, but he could not stand. The children came too close.

"Stay back... Please." On his back, he held up his only hand to push at their outstretched arms.

"Graham, let them help you."

The Blue Woman's voice was some comfort, oddly enough. Not that he had any strength to stop the small beings from picking him up and carrying him off. He watched the night sky stroll by as they moved him to a structure that had not been around moments ago. Inside, he was laid out on a bed. The children bowed and backed away.

"It seems you have developed some type of sickness here. We will try to make its removal painless."

Sick? He was sick? It made some sense, to his throbbing head. And it did feel good to lie out on a soft surface; close his eye...

He did not resist the urgings to sleep pressed upon him.

Graham woke again, to sun warm and healing. He sat up, feeling able to do so, and stared around at the richly decorated room which sat open to the air on a low hill, the gentle breeze blowing long sashes of filmy, rose-hued fabric in a beautiful dance at the four corner posts marking the room's borders. He flexed his arm, frowning. He felt no pain, no weakness. What had happened?

A flash of movement drew his eye. The mitchuu leaped up to his bed.

"What am I that so fascinates you?" he asked it quietly, extending his stump slowly. It gave a little squeak and rubbed against his deformity.

Brows raising in surprise, Graham regarded the curious furry. Again, he had no desire to eat it. Especially not a thing that seemed to want to be companionable. He'd never had a friend before. Not even Tiara-

Gasping at his blasphemy, he gave himself a sound clout upside the head. How dare he even think so lowly of Tiara! How dare he feel himself fit to judge his creator!

"She was not a creator. She was a Summoner."

The Blue Woman! To his left, and at a distance, unseen but he could sense her presence. Just as she could hear thoughts.

"There are no secrets hidden from us here."

"...Us?" he dared, as she terrified him still.

"Us." Her words pointed unerringly to the mitchuu. "I apologize for taking so long in waking you. Your sickness was a bit more than we thought. It took time to dispel."

"Where am I?"

"A place not many see. More will be told another time. You should eat."

Food once more plentiful at the Blue Woman's willing, Graham was not shy in accepting the sustenance.

"How did I come here?"

"Ah, that is the question. What do you remember?"

"I was banished..." And his fist clenched at the thought of Kagetsu.

"Yes, so you were."

"Do all banished come here?"

"Yes."

"Then you were also-?"

"Yes."

It made sense, yet he was confused. This was where the banished ended up and spent their lives? In a dream place? He didn't understand.

"You will, Graham. In time."

He kept her always at a distance. Now visible, she flowed along beside him as if her legs were water. She was to show him something today.

Graham did not know how long he'd been here. His arrival was growing fuzzy in his mind. He could sense it and the frightening things that had happened, but something continually pressed him to forget, clouded over the actual substance and leaving only the vague haze. It was a bothersome itch he was also pressed to ignore. The Blue Woman helped.

He knew that he had been sick for many days, and the female spectre's teachings had started three days after. She taught slowly, perhaps believing that he could not learn so quickly. It was not true. Every day he learned new things on his own about this strange place and about himself. They were small things, with immense impact. But what he learned, she would know also.

"You are correct." she commented on one of his thoughts as they walked over yet another grass-covered hill. "The children that you have seen were like you at one time."

"And you?"

"You are a perplexing matter, Graham."

Always, she would change the topic and never say her name, her origins, even her business here or with him. It was frustrating!

"You have been here for quite some time and still cling and linger on the matter of returning from whence you were stripped. You cannot return."

"But **why**? There must be a way!"

"It is impossible. I hope to show you a better alternative, here. You will have a place here, Graham, where you will not be treated as poorly as in the past."

"I was **not** mistreated!" he growled. Fear had left in the first few days, but that did not mean that he trusted the apparition who seemed set on guiding him away from any thought of Tiara.

"As you say..."

"And what would I become here? A slave like those... those false children?"

The Blue Woman gave pause. She turned in a liquid move and faced him. Stood right in his path to halt him as well. "We are not in the business of slavery. It is only the animal which sees the cage who feels trapped. You are looking from inside. It is we who are outside of the cage, Graham."

Her voice, as it had in the beginning, sent shivers down his spine. Such a powerful being he kept company with... Not like the little mitchuu who seemed content to skitter along with their progress, nibble a bit here and there, and sniff the air.

"Take advice from the little one. That one knows how to live." she said in brevity, floating forward ahead of him.

Yes, the mitchuu seemed to keep to a simple life. It was a simple creature. But he was not like he used to be. His life was complex now that he had a human shape, a human mind, and a human heart.

He thought he heard the Blue Woman hmph at his inner comment but it may have been the wind. It grew increasingly strong as they approached what he saw as a sharp precipice. She floated just above the edge, her clothing wisped in the gusts of wind pushed up from far, far below. Graham eased closer for a look down. No building he'd ever seen had the height of this natural drop! Beautiful, dangerous, yet why would she wish to show him this?

"Impressed?"

"...Yes?"

"Then follow. This is not our goal today." And she moved up and over the edge, descending rapidly.

"But... How? I cannot simply leap off!"

The false children appeared in a closing half-circle around him.

"No." he told them. "I'll fight you if you try to force me over." And he did crouch into a ready posture as they smiled sweetly at him. At least they did not retain Tiara's face to torment him. Still, their threat was as plain as they standing before him. He would not allow them closer if they dared.

They did not. Their hands went up and clapped once. There was a great shaking of the earth. Graham fell to his knees and wondered how the children could remain standing. When he did look at their feet, he saw they did not touch the ground.

The earth rattled and shook and cracks broke the surface. As the tumult subsided, Graham uncringed. A strong breeze and sickening sense of downward motion had him grasping at grass as the perfect circle he floated on descended with the ring of children controlling it. Only when they'd stopped did he take a definite look around. The precipice cliff was all but vertical and pocked with cave after cave. A shimmer of blue heralded the direction of the Blue Woman. Shaking off rattled nerves and eyeing the unperturbed children, Graham stepped off his floating conveyance and into the dark den the Blue Woman entered.

A single eye he may have but with it he saw more than any mortal with two. She had stopped just a ways in, the Blue Woman. He met her at a junction in the cave.

"Which do you choose?"

Graham glanced left, then right. "There is no way to know a right answer."

"Is there one?"

"Isn't there always?"

"Make your choice."

Graham moved down the left passage, glancing back at the Blue Woman. She did not follow. Had he chosen incorrectly? Her lessons sometimes came with tests. He gathered that this may be one such test.

A small shadow darted past him. He tracked it, wary, but it turned out to be only the mitchuu. How had it come from so far above? True, mitchuu dwelled underground, but this seemed all rock. They burrowed in soil. He'd played games long ago of unburying their burrows to get at the tender creatures...

There were the dredged-up memories again. He ground his teeth, pounding them back down. Another life wrenched away from him which held no promise in this new place. Another life he had no hope of returning to. But he would return to the Guardian World... Somehow.

Hm.. Perhaps the mitchuu knew the interior here. Stranger things he'd seen here, and it seemed to know where it was going. He followed, having little other initiative or direction.

The passage narrowed to the point where Graham had to crouch, then crawl. Finally, there was only a space small enough for the mitchuu. A small hole into which it had no reserves in leaving him behind and dashing through.

Graham lay all but flat against the rock to peer through, to see what might make the mitchuu proceed through. There, on the other side, lay a solid network of mitchuu-made burrows, and hundreds of mitchuu.

His once companion disappeared among a sea of family and friends, frolicking, grooming, purring contentedly.

It should not have disturbed Graham to see this. He used to eat these animals! He should not feel a sense of loss as it reunited with its kin. This is where it should be...

Yet he could not deny the wetness on his face, the leaking from his eye that he knew were tears. He had been abandoned by a lowly creature! He had been forgotten! Just like that! Just as Tiara-...

"Graham?"

He whirled, a growl in his throat. "You did this. You created this scene to torment me! You knew how this would affect me!"

"And why is it affecting you?" the Blue Woman asked gently, still not visible but present none-the-less.

"Because it hurts inside!"

"Why?"

"I don't **know**! It hurts! That is all I know!"

"You hurt when you think of Tiara. Why? It is not because you are away from her. If she felt anything for you, such might be justified, but she clearly did not or she would have brought you back and kept you with her. It is likely within her power to do so. She has abandoned you. Say it, Graham."

"No."

"Say it." Her voice turned sharp as broken glass.

"NO!" Graham screamed, even though the Blue Woman was only voicing his inner fears. It didn't matter. He'd deny it every chance. Pushing past her calls to stop, he wanted OUT!

The earth shook once more, the exit showering rubble and rock to block his path.

"You will stay until you say it."

Oh, at that moment, he felt the same rage as would normally be reserved for the damnable Kagetsu. Yet even with the Blue Woman here, he could not touch her! Incredible fury and frustration combined into a great force which he had to vent somehow. Graham swept both arms out in front of him, preparing to attack the rock itself. Before he ever touched it, the rock fled in a great explosion from his wrath. As if fearing his anger...

Graham stared, in awe, at the power displayed. Focused rage... He had caused the rock to burst away because of his anger? He looked in the direction of the Blue Woman.

She was there, in plain view, and staring in equal astonishment at his feat.

Without a word further, he continued out of the passage.

His problem came when he emerged at the cave entrance. The shear drop was a great dilemma. The children had removed their floating platform of earth as well as their presence from the area. He had no way up again.

Well. If he was capable of moving the rock here, and they were essentially the same as he, then he should be able to do similar things as they.

Graham thought his reasoning sound. He thought on a goal, summed up every bit of anger and will and focused it on his goal. He would make his own stairway up!

He felt the ground shake but felt satisfaction instead of fear. The rock moved at his command! It was exhilarating! But, though the stone moved at his command, its placement was erratic and chunks flew everywhere! Out of control, they smashed about as if possessed. He could not make it stop! Ducking a boulder intent on crashing in his skull, he was pummeled from behind by a second, and then another.

And then, all movement froze. Opening his eye on a groan, Graham was amazed to see stone, boulder, pebble, even dust grains immobile idly in the air. The Blue Woman glided out, past Graham, and over the edge. As she moved past, the rock once more became one with the cave, where it was meant to be.

"Absurd." she scoffed. "You have not been here long enough to understand the inner workings of this environment."

In one single instant, he was no longer in the cave but found himself in the bed of the open air room he'd occupied for the last few days. Hurting from his encounter with the unwieldy rock, he did not complain of the gentle transfer.

He did not know how but the Blue Woman was able to force him into sleep whenever she wished. She was willing it right now and he fought it as best he could. He'd learned much today and wanted to dwell on that before sleep could cloud it over. He could control some things here. He only needed practice to hone such an ability. And he had learned he could surprise those who controlled here. They were not all-knowing. That in particular the Blue Woman seemed keen to rub out of his mind...

"It has already learned that?" Five drew back in alarm from Two's findings.

"It is progressing at the same pace as Yord. We must be cautious. If it were to escape with such knowledge..." Two trailed off.

"It will not. That is part of our task. Yord was not our fault. We have not failed yet, and we will not now." One was keen on this point.

"But the fact remains," Three interjected. "that it knows it can use its environment. It knows Two's subtlety of manipulation. It knows a bit too much for my liking."

"Be calm. It is of no danger yet. And if it were, we would have to reveal ourselves to smother it out, so let us first examine the situation carefully before proceeding." Settling the matter was generally Four's concern, which was always handled smoothly. Even with such a rising situation.

"You must see it." Two tried. "That perhaps the others should be brought in to sway this firesome creature. It burns like no other. I cannot extinguish its flame alone."

"You underestimate yourself." Four said, eyeing Two with a sense of a smile. "No. You must handle it alone, as you started. To allow it near the others would prove... disagreeable... for all."

"This creature is a possible danger, correct? Can we not extinguish it completely? There are many ways to siphon off subtle amounts until it is too weak to protest. In doing so, we would take back what it is claiming from us. Even as we converse here, it is removing, separating, pulling from us! How can it be allowed?" Five was all but pacing, distraught to learn that such a simple method was not yet utilized on what they should all perceive as a threat.

"We cannot. It is beyond us."

"Beyond our will and morals, or beyond our control?" Five countered One's response.

"Beyond both."

Three was gradually leaning toward Five's side of the matter. "The point is no longer ethical. We can still stop it, now. I feel that we should."

Four regarded the others calmly. "You are wrong. We cannot prevent what is happening. Only Two has the ability to mold the outcome, which is a hard task in itself. We can assist no further than offering our advice. If it were to meet with us directly..."

"Surely it is not capable of that." Three would not believe it.

Again, Four's calm regard fell on Three, and said nothing further.

"But it clings so fiercely. How am I to undo that?" Two asked Four.

Who offered a remnant of a smile. "By giving it something else to cling to of course."

He was not given to dreams. Not at home, nor on the Guardian Worlds. It was probably for the best, as dreams often mirrored troubles, concerns, and other woes. It was difficult enough confronting such things awake. To have them during sleep, too, would be beyond wearying.

Graham woke with such a thought, to a day of sun and happy birds, and nothing else. Not even the Blue Woman. He lay for a while, contemplating many things, remembering the previous day's accomplishments, and resting a very sore back. No real damage. Was the Blue Woman angry at his attempts? If this were true, he should be prepared for some fitting punishment. He was in fact expecting her to appear to deliver just such a sentence when the familiar darting body of the friendly mitchuu raced up to the bed. It scurried up the sheets and, with a great yawn, snuggled in against his body before curling up for sleep.

Graham stared and stared at the thing. It had returned. Left family and friends to be with him. He had nothing to offer. No food, shelter, protection. Warmth? Not needed in light of the perfect weather. What did it cherish so in his company? Still and all, it had come back. He could not help a little smile at the wonder of it. In the end, it had chosen him.

The rock slid from his fingers yet again. Graham growled in frustration. Why couldn't he do it? Those false children had been floating pebbles and rocks all morning. Taunting him, he suspected, as he could not levitate even grains of sand.

One of them broke away from the others and came to stare at his progress.

"Leave me be." he scowled at it warningly.

"What are you doing?"

Startled at first, for he did not think them capable of speaking, Graham gave the child a second look. She seemed just like the others. Blonde hair and coal laughing eyes. But there was something... different. Familiar.

The mitchuu came right up to her, rubbing at her legs.

Graham frowned, reached toward the girl. His hand passed through her.

"Are we all ghosts here? Chained to dwell an eternity in this place?"

She giggled, bent down to pet the friendly mitchuu. "We're not ghosts."

"Phantoms then. Illusions? A dream?"

At each suggestion, her blond locks shook with her head.

"But you know what this place is. Tell me... Please?"

Her head shook again, still smiling. "You'll know, when it's time."

"When it's time? What of now? What am I to do with the time now?" He stood, and the girl backed quickly away.

"You can... play with me."

Graham stared at her, threw a look at the other false children. Oblivious. This child was very different than the others. He could see, feel, such a difference, though there was nothing physical that separated her from the other ones. But... She seemed a bit... afraid. Of him. Tried to hide it, too. "Play?"

"There are many games." she interjected quickly.

"What is your name?"

"We could tell stories!" She again tried to brush him off topic. He would not be moved.

"Your name." he insisted.

Pause, indecision, internal debate. Not the face of a child but a compromised adult. Graham waited, seeing this.

"I'm... Yellow."

"Yellow?"

"That's my name, like yours was given to you. Before."

Yes, his name had been a gift from Tiara, as had this body. He closed his eye, heard her call his name- a memory. A very fond memory.

"Graham."

He couldn't help it. The child sounded too close, too like Tiara. Mocking... Alarm provoking action, his hand split and struck out all but of its own. And he hit her. Knocked her right to the ground. And she looked very frightened. She disappeared the next instant.

"No! I didn't mean it! I'm sorry. Please come back! I-... I..." What was wrong with him?! Striking one of the false children should not bring sudden tears and guilt! Ridiculous! He shoved at such feelings, but they did linger. It happened right after he hit her. A flood of guilt, of great compassion. Never had he felt such a thing. All from hitting-

No. Not because he'd struck her. Because he'd touched her.

Knowing the Blue Woman could hear thoughts, he locked that one up in a secret place, well out of mindsight. He didn't want her to know. Not before testing his theory.

Two had sought out that portion of Four kept away from the others and reserved for private conversings and was now all but flying about, anxiety not easily calmed. "How? How am I to get closer if it will not drop its hold of the Summoner? Did you see what it did?!" What it took, actually. As Two had fear now from the brief contact, so, too, did it take part of Two. Did it know? The question plagued...

Four gave the impression of a nod.

Two would have paced incessantly if still tangible. As it was, the entity dispersed and reformed in agitation repeatedly until Four forced a sigh of wisdom to cover over the distraught Two's ample ranting.

"The fuss is understandable. Yes, we all saw. I admit it is creating quite a stir."

There was something in the manner of Four's speaking that disturbed her. Had... had this all been expected? "It is only a matter of time before it learns the truth and that is something to heavily consider. But you've known this from its arrival. You have known its potential all along."

"'It' has a name you know well." Four's attention shot out, kept Two firmly in sight.

Two squirmed slightly under the scrutiny. "I know it is what we do, and I know this is against my station, but do you really believe there's still hope in severing Graham? It is such a fierce thing."

"Do not be frightened. You were doing well. It is needing time to adjust, but when that time is up, we will all see a difference. However, it does tend to plow ahead in wrong directions. It must be gently turned on a better path. Proceed."

With great reluctance, Two slipped from Four's open grasp. It was difficult. There was fear to deal with; of Graham, of what Graham was capable of, and of not being able to do the job allotted. But Two collected, calmed, selected a place, and became Yellow once more.

It was easier than first anticipated. Two had not been paying as much attention before. Yes. That is when the error occurred. Graham could not be forced any longer.

He couldn't help watching the false children at play in the grass. She wasn't among them. He worried. Had he hurt Yellow? Where had she gone? It was foolishness, and no doubt had nothing to do with getting back to Tiara, but he could not keep such wonderings away. If he had in any way harmed her, he would beat himself!...

Graham clutched at his head. Was he going mad? He thought he'd gone mad once, until Tiara showed him the reality of her world. So terrified he'd been, having known nothing of other places and worlds and people. A bit stupid, really. No it wasn't ! More foreign thoughts!

Graham smashed a fist into the grassy earth. Someone else's thoughts they might be but they were in his head and he could not stop hearing and feeling them!

The shuffling of feet through grass alerted him. His eye tracked the movement of little Yellow's timid step as she came near.

"I didn't mean to hit you." The words were out of his mouth before he could think. "I'm sorry." And he truly was.

She didn't say anything at first. She seemed... sad.

"What's wrong?"

With pleading eyes, she asked, "Will you play with me?"

She would ask again, after he'd caused her hurt? Truly, Graham did not know children's games and thought himself incapable of providing any fun. "Why not play with them?" he offered, still feeling a great need to comfort or cheer her.

"I wanna play with you." And she sat just an arm's reach away.

"I... I don't play well."

Yellow brightened some. "I can teach you. If you want..."

Graham did not think on it long. "Yes. I would like to learn."

Graham crouched and sprung up, leaping quite far and well in the center of the drawn circle. A feral grin of pride leaked out.

Never had a game of hopper before looked so scary but Yellow laughed and laughed as she taught Graham how to play and was able to even coax a chuckle out of him. He began to forget that nothing here was real and saw her only as the child she appeared to be. Part of it was his realization. That is what made her different from the other false children. She behaved like a child. They, those spectres, did not.

"It is your turn." he reminded, pointing out her own circle he'd drawn. It was within bare steps of her.

Yellow tucked in her arms, bent her knees, and... Hop!... Missed it by a few inches. Her face drew sad lines.

"Try again. You can do it." She needed encouragement at the moment. That was all Graham saw and thought.

She did, bending her knees more and taking a great leap, for a human creature with very little strength. She missed it again and sighed.

Graham glanced from the absurd distance he could easily manage, roughly twelve yards, and back to the few feet separating Yellow from her goal.

"It can be done. You must try harder." he told her gently.

Yellow paused. "How far can you jump, Graham?"

He'd told her his name upon being asked.

"Very far. You try now. Again. I think you can make it. Try it like this." He crouched like the animal he once was, knowing the form of motion would produce similar results, as it would for her.

She went nearly to all fours, like a little frog, and ... Hop! Into the circle she went! Laughing and clapping, she ran in circles until she fell over, still laughing.

Graham had to smile. He was, in a way, proud of her, too.

"You have done very well."

"Superb handling."

"Well done."

"Excellent!" were the commendations of the others.

The modesty of Two's station forbade response.

"So we may each begin soon." Five assumed, gluttony and eagerness swirling the assumption in dark greasy colors.

"No."

"Why not?" Pouting, Five turned Four's way.

"Not yet."

"I do not see why time should matter. It is calm now, illusioned. Docile!"

"Imbecile." Three huffed, rolling unseen eyes. "It is not docile."

"But it is calm. Two has succeeded." One added.

Four retained all attention. "That is true, but we must all still remain cautious. Do not forget, ever, your purpose here, nor that it has started making sense of its environment, and us. It has already surpassed every previous entrant as far as time acclimation. We must be wary still, and not forget Yord throughout."

They agreed equally and fervently. Five perhaps too fervently.

Graham no longer measured his time here. It was unnoticeable anyway. Unimportant. What mattered was how he started each day. And ended it.

The start involved meeting Yellow on the highest hill around. Then end, when she must go each evening. It was on one such evening that he could not keep his loneliness at bay. He was missing... something. It plagued him at night, in sleep, during non-dreams... All the time, something gone forgotten. He could ignore it no longer. And so he longed for someone to talk to, for Yellow to come. She did not. The children were not seen at night. They faded with the setting sun and returned with its first new rays.

"Where do you go, Yellow? Where are you now?" he found himself saying aloud. His mind must be wandering too much. So much had gone fuzzy. But still the matter plagued him! Something... missing. Always missing. No petting of the soft mitchuu nor the full joy of Yellow's company could dispel it as it grew.

He stood. "Yellow?" Called without care that he was mad for doing so. She could not possibly hear him.

"Graham?"

He whirled. There was little Yellow, same as ever. "You came..."

"You called me."

"I didn't know I could. You could hear me, from... wherever you go?"

She gave him a child's condescending lop-sided smile. "Yer very loud."

"Oh..."

"Why'd you need me? I hafta go to bed."

"I..." What was he to say? He longed for company? Anything to ease the buzzing of something missing. "Tell me a story. Like the one before."

She appeared to consider it briefly. "Okay. Lay down an' I'll tell you a story. But then I gotta go to bed."

"Why? You could sleep here. There is plenty of space."

"No, silly! I can't sleep here." she grinned.

"Why not?"

"Because my... my momma would get upset if I wasn't in bed when she comes to wake me."

Oh, that changed everything. The night grew just a bit darker, the air a bit cooler, the sheets softer, his breath and heart and being that much more noticeable. Because with her words, he could again see.

"Your... mother? Mother?" He had forgotten for too long about the Blue Woman, who was always watching, and the place that was not real where he could not escape. Breath quickening, he backed away from the false girl. "Where am I? Tell me now!" he demanded, frightened. He had forgotten much. How had it all gotten so clouded in his head?!

"Graham, don't be afraid. Please don't be afraid! I get scared, too..."

"Afraid of me! Do not deny it! I have seen it, touched it!" And then he had a second revelation. A control... "If you do not tell me, Yellow, I will grab you and force you to. You know I can."

"Yes." Her head sagged. "We are all trapped here, inside of you, until you choose to emerge. Farewell, Graham..."

"Yellow, wait!"

But she had disappeared as if the dawn mist fleeing the sun.

"Wait! Come back! Don't leave!"

No matter his calls, his cries, no one came. She was gone and he feared his returned memories meant she would never be seen again for, despite himself, despite where he was and whatever she was, he missed her presence, her company, and felt himself torn by hidden treachery and miserable doubt.

There could be no sleep for him tonight. No rest. Moments ago, his new residence had seemed so natural. Now it was a cage from which he could not leave fast enough. Graham's whole being screamed a thousand things at once and he tore off into the night, tearing up grass with clawed feet in his mad dash. But there was no escape from inner demons and tormenting emotions. He roared at the sky, unable to express his feelings any other way. He denied to himself that he wished he hadn't remembered, that he wished for the simple life again. It was wrong!

"Tiara! Help me!" he screamed. "Why won't you come for me?! TIARAAA!"

Graham threw a desperate hand up to the sky, beseeching, pleading, pitiable.

His eye closed, he did not see the grand ripple his thrown emotions sent through the visible environment.

There was no answer. Tiara had not summoned him back. She hadn't-...! Didn't she-...? He smacked the thoughts down each time they tried to stir. Denied every answer, Graham could not but weep, again a frightened creature. Lost. So very lost...

A bright flashing stilled his breath. His eye flew open, scanned the sky. A single bright star was descending gently, twinkling as if to gain his notice. He backed away, though it followed. Just slowly.

 _I mean no harm._ it seemed to say.

Such had a calming effect. Graham gave pause and regarded the star, which was no bigger than his hand at a closer look.

 _I can take your pain away. I can help you through such terrible times. Please let me help?_

Such a gentle voice... Graham relaxed. He was tired. "Hel... help me? How?"

 _Just close your eyeeee._ the star's voice lulled incessantly. Graham could not stay upright. Still half-conscious, as the tiny spark of fear remaining kept him aware, he saw the star spread its light out. It did not touch him but he felt... something... draw near, and he saw... something... in the body of the dispersed star. It was all he could do to keep his eye open, so he could not think of what such a thing it was inside the star...

They all waited, pensive. None said anything, as it was plainly clear. Five's form was smudged and slightly shimmery and they could not have done more to prevent it...

"Must we wait until Five has finished?" Such a violation! Three was a bit shocked that one of their own would act in this manner. Attempting a bend and a drain out of turn, as well as without consultation. No, it was more than that. Five had been warned not to do so, and yet had gone ahead anyway.

"We can do no more." Four replied, sounding less sure than usual.

This in itself frightened the other three. Two held any voice, having no further say, knowing who the failure truly belonged to. Perhaps, which had been previously thought, the fact that Graham had made contact with the form of Yellow hadn't affected them as much as one would think but no. Two had a part of Graham, as he had gained something also from the contact. Such was the way here for him, and so they. With that part missing, it was much harder for him to adapt, to accept, to change. Hence his explosion. Already a fiery personality, and unpredictable, now Graham was very dangerous. Two did not blame Five for acting, only for not consulting the others a final time. Now?

Now they could do not but wait and see if Five would indeed be successful in reclamation, in making Graham forget, in gently siphoning off such harsh yet flavorful emotions which did often and very well serve as nourishment for them. If Five would be able to salvage what Two had lost... or a much worse fate.

They watched on, Graham slipping.

From Two's seat of compassion, it was a wish never to cause him pain from remembering but to help him past it. And Two had failed.

And so they watched on, silent, pensive.

The tricky part about a drain was staying focused. Five knew this, had no doubt it could be done successfully, and proceeded thus.

The life energies, the emotions, the will. All could be pulled at until little trails flowed freely and effortlessly to Five. The creature would feel nothing of course, and it was not the intention to destroy Graham. Just subdue the creature until they could plot a new course. Clearly, Two's direction wasn't working. And yet, Five saw that progress which had been made. Carefully selected it and placed it back within Graham each time it got sucked to Five. It was only the strong harsh things that would be taken out; and, oh, did it have many!

Distracting. Memories, feelings, tortures, joys. And so much negativity. This Five found most edible. But could it not be pulled just a bit faster? Desire clouding judgment, that is precisely what Five did. Just a little more. Graham had plenty. He was always fighting, always knotted up. That's what it looked like, deep anger and fear and struggle. Like a bunch of smudgy-muss knots. As Five untangled them faster and absorbed more of Graham, the desire, the craving for just a bit more intensified. Surely with so much, Five could remove a bit for later...

 _Am... Am I dying?_

Graham could barely think. Something strange ... happening. The... The star. It was doing this.

With what little strength left to him, Graham wrenched his eyeball upward. To see and try and make sense... of...

What he saw brought a gasp of fear. The star was no longer a shiny point of light, nor a dispersion of pretty sparkles. It was him! He stared at his own face, body, clothes.

It was hard to stay afraid. Hard to stay ... awake... No! Keep the fear close! Don't let it absorb him! The copy was trying to become him, to kill him!

He wanted to strike out at the imposter, to kick or thrash or yell. But he couldn't even sit up. How... how could he beat this creature?! So powerful...

There came a chuckling. _Oh, yes. I am quite powerful. Stop resisting or it'll only be less comfortable to you._

The voice... The star. They were one. And it was not the Blue Woman. No. He could not sense her near. This... thing was very much like her, yet...

Frowning internally, trying to keep at least partial awareness, Graham maintained enough of his faculties to come to a conclusion. If this was like the Blue Woman, it could fear him, too. If he were like the false children and could manipulate his surroundings, then he could find a way to touch the look-alike creature.

Graham never knew how he was able to do it. Not for a long time. With his strength slipping, he lapsed into a state of calm that, oddly, caught the star creature by surprise. He felt that surprise, as he felt it draw closer. Graham did not think on that. He kept the calm, ignored the approach. He waited, waited in the calm, fought the need to feel fear as the thing came so, so near. He heard its concern and worry. And that is when he struck.

As if a tug of war within a time that stood still, Graham had used every bit of himself left to grab and hold onto his attacker. And then, feeling it desperate to get its strength back, Graham knew he'd won. He was weak but merely grabbing the struggling and flailing impersonator revitalized him. He stood, felt very powerful indeed. A lion who held a squeaking mouse by the throat.

"Now... Leave me b-..." He trailed off, for the creature was disappearing rapidly. No. Not disappearing. His grip tightened on nothing as a great sensation filled him. And a great, greedy grin spread across his face. And he laughed a horrible gleeful laugh. He felt good. Very good! Strong! Yet... There was a sadness that lingered, and fear.

"No!" he commanded, fists clenched. He would not feel what others feel! Not again. He had the power, and amazingly the knowledge, to navigate this realm at will. And he would use it. Anything to distract from the other emotions.

With a smirk, he took a step. All around him changed. He stood atop a snow-capped peak, seen miles away from his previous step. Graham didn't even step the next time. He merely thought of going and there he ended up. Inside the mitchuu's mountain cave. Empty...

Some sense snapped him back, though the question was answered by himself just as it was asked. What had happened?

Obviously, he could absorb the beings here by holding onto them, and thus gain their memories, skills, abilities. And their loose minds. Graham growled, gritting his teeth at the frantic little thoughts pinging his awareness.

"Stop it or I'll will you out of existence." Graham seethed, then delighted in the cowering obeyance of the other personality. It had no real weight over him, nor any power. Graham had its power now and for that, he grinned again. He liked this.

But the others... Oh, yes. There were others, like the one he'd taken. All with different specialties. Five total entities. The Blue Woman was Two. They were now his equals. He didn't like this. They were a threat. They would stop him from going back to Tiara.

He did not know from the one he'd captured where the others were or what they were called, nor what place this was... Yet. It was a weak thing. If he pressed, it would tell him what he desired.

But that wasn't what he wanted. Not yet. He desired the chase, to catch his prey. Dropping to a slight crouch, Graham smiled a vicious smile and disappeared. Find them and eat them, too, was precisely the focused desire in his mind.

"It has taken Five!" Three split, dispersed, could not keep a straight thought!

Four collected the frantic member of their group. Two and One were unsteady but not panicked.

"Is there nothing we can do? It is Yord all over again!"

Four gave the impression of a nod but did not respond.

"What shall we do?" Two demanded again, frightened but needing answers.

Four sighed gently, expressing only calm for them. "We must do as we always do."

"But it knows. If it should find us, what then?" Two looked at One, then Four.

"We cannot stop it."

Two stared at One for such speaking.

"Correct." Four agreed.

"You have planned this?" Two could not believe it.

"Not Five's impetuous decision, nor Graham's swift adaptations, but yes."

"Why? Do you not see that Graham could come and claim you as well? You were all that stood between Yord and 'freedom', just as Graham now views us. Graham is more adept than Yord ever was, and with Five's intense Desire... If you, too, are taken, how will we survive then?"

Four smiled patiently, as if to a child. "We must adapt."

"But... Four, that is not clear enough. Our positions are-"

"Are inadequate to suit Graham. Clearly, this provoked him. And it will provoke us to adapt so that we may do as we have always done." Four's stare bore holes in the other three so they might see. One had brought up an excellent opening to get at the heart of the matter. It was about time, too.

Their awareness shifted, almost as one. They shifted, gone.

Graham appeared in a very strange place indeed. A nexus. Nothing around at all; floor, ceiling, earth, nor air. He had thought only that he wished to find the other controllers here and so here he had appeared. His eye closed, he felt the area without use of tangible faculties, using what he had gained from the entity he'd consumed, and grinned.

"They were here... I'll catch you all!" he called out, knowing they would hear. And if he tried very hard, perhaps he could hear them...

Oh, how one of them shrieked as he stalked it! This was not the Blue Woman either but no matter. As it tried to escape in and out of pockets of space, Graham eagerly gave chase. He grew tired of it quickly, however, and changed the game. He waited, listened patiently, caught the gibbering trail of thoughts, and pounced in true _kldrieh_ style. Just like in the old days, before...

No getting distracted, lest his prey slip from him.

He cornered the terrified thing, though he could see no shape of it yet. This mattered not. Graham reached for and made contact with the struggling entity.

"Please don't!" it cried, becoming visible. "Let me go!"

This one was different than the one he'd taken. This was Three. More knowledge came to him, from the first as well as directly from the panicked Three. The more he held Three, the more he absorbed. It looked different, too. It was yellow and composed of fine filaments, like frayed wire or yarn. How odd. He ignored the thing only long enough to examine it and thought nothing against taking it in both arms and holding it tightly until it was absorbed.

A sharp shudder tremored through his body. Three was filled with so many conflicts. All attempted to align with Graham at once. The hairs of his body prickled up, he felt he should release the two poor creatures, he wanted to fight Kagetsu, he wanted to cry and cry for Tiara abandoning him!

"Rrraaahh!" Graham yelled, clenching his head and pounding a fist against the ground that wasn't there until the sensation could be controlled. What power had Three to drive him mad?!

"Enough of this!" His greed for stalking and claiming victims banished by the second entity's barrage, Graham stood, located the next one, and was there.

This did not run. It was One. It stood quiet and still and Graham at first did not approach. They stood in yet another nexus. It made Graham wary. He did not like the nexi, because it was more difficult to sense any thought or form of trap. They could still be trying to cage him.

This One... It was also very different from the first two. It was red, human-shaped, but the shapes were too perfect. It looked like a chiseled thing, a thinking piece of art.

"Why do you not run from me? Are you not afraid I'll eat you?"

"It makes sense to be afraid, but none to run. You would catch me."

"Please don't take any more, Graham."

The Blue Woman! Where...

She- It- became visible close by One's side. 'She' was as different from the others as anything could be. In appearance, the entity was furred gray with black spots, stripes, and whorls. It walked on four legs. And it was a young-looking thing. Only slightly older than Yellow appeared...

"I see now." They were the same person. "You purposefully deceived me to subdue me!" Livid instantly, he rushed Two.

"Graham, you don't understand!"

He meant to tackle Two completely and full-on, though he would get no joy from it, but One appeared in his path and was engulfed by his charge instead.

And he stopped. And knew. The five were aspects. Desire, Humanity, and now Logic. They were protectors, and seekers. They had specific jobs in this place-

The other two crowded over One's presence and knowledge, clouding it from his view.

A deep growl started in Graham's throat but nothing budged.

"So be it. If you won't let me know, I will take you all." He stepped closer to Two.

The child took a step back and traced a symbol in the air. Nothing happened. Graham proceeded. He would not be deterred.

His plan ran aground as he collided not with a physical wall but one of pleas and fear and a child's cries. So struck with grief and an appalling need to be comforted, Graham staggered back. He shook himself out of it but Two was gone.

It didn't matter. One could track the whereabouts of any- No. Not just One. As a group they could pinpoint anyone anywhere in this place. He had three of them. And so he knew Two hadn't gone far. Knowing this also, the small form reappeared.

"Please don't do this, Graham. Release them. Please. I will tell you anything you want to know."

"Why should I trust a thing you say, especially as I can easily take you and anything you possess?"

"That is Desire talking. Don't let it control you." Two commanded sternly, sounding every bit the part of the Blue Woman she'd pretended to be.

A moment's pause. A blink. That was true. The five entities were controllers of aspects because they wielded the power of their stations. He had their power now and used it negligently and on a whim, letting the power control him.

"Yes." Two stepped closer, hands spread out to him. "Don't you see? You will only hurt yourself and others the longer you-"

"It doesn't matter." Graham locked eyes with the entity known as Two. "What matters is getting back to Tiara. I will not give up. I will not stop searching for a way back!"

"But that is why you are-"

He didn't let Two finish. He'd crouched and launched himself forward before the child could react. Hands beginning to come up as an ineffectual shield, the unknown entity passed into him.

What power, what aspect, did Two carry? Graham waited, then cringed at the onslaught. Not from Two, who huddled, helpless, with the others inside him, but from the released scythe of Compassion which threatened to chop his legs from underneath him, sever him for such heinous wrong-doings, and slice his heart with the weight of still carrying them out.

It would have succeeded in taking him over, had he not already the other three. Logic argued that Compassion was out of line. Desire wanted them all to move. Humanity? That insane aspect wanted it all. In a wish to be harmonious, it drove everything into a frenzy until he couldn't stand it!

Graham moved himself to somewhere -anywhere!- solid just so he could pound his head against a wall! Despite injury and absurdity, it helped.

"There are other, better ways of controlling the aspects of human-kind than bashing one's head in." came a new voice.

Graham looked up, whirling around. A man...?

It was not a man, though that is what it looked like. Just an average, middle-aged, non-descript human. Graham blinked, wondered if his ability to see the entities as they really were had left him.

"No, it's working, I assure you. I'm just... slightly different than my fellows." It was seated in a chair, calm as ages, and smiling slightly at him. "I've been wanting to talk with you for some time now. Join me?" A hand opened to a chair positioned now just beside the stranger.

Graham would not sit. "You are called Four, yes? What would you possibly have to say to me?"

"Ah. Straight to the point. And you are controlling the aspects even more than I thought you could. Very good." It reclined even more. "Yes. I am Four."

It eyed him a moment, a very deep gaze that shook even those entities inside of him. They were no longer hiding knowledge from him. They simply did not know much about Four. But it was clearly the strongest of the five. None of the others knew what Four thought.

It was still staring at him, waiting. Four said, "You want to know so much yet you are such a confused creature. Tell me, do you know what the Throne of Yord is?"

"The source of all power in the Guardian World. All harmony and protection comes from it."

"Yet, like you, it was and is still a terribly confused creature."

"Like... me?" The realization crashed onto Graham's consciousness and hammered in painfully with resounding affirmatives from the other four already within him. He saw, through them, what Yord had been, and what it had become. He shuddered. But his last memories of the Guardian World were of trying to keep Kagetsu from stealing that awesome power source. The Throne was a sacred thing! How could it be alive? And at one time a Banished creature like himself? He could not deny it. The others were not lying in their memories which he could see. And, oh, what a horrible thing it had become! Reality twisted forever, paint-running smears on a wet surface of tears. Sad, terrible, wretched, lonely, detestable, pitiable Yord. And he was on the same path.

"No! I won't become like that!" Graham denied it even as the eyes of the others begged him to see what he would not, dare not. "I only want you so that I can return to Tiara!"

"Don't you think that's precisely what Yord wanted? Only to return." Four sighed, wistful. "In the end it got its wish. It was Summoned by the great ones, out of this place. Summoned into slavery once more; a powerful, twisted thing that cared nothing for our aid or the holes caused when it left with a part of each you carry. Parts that have not fully recovered, I might add. Yord was meant to doom us all and Banished here for that purpose. Source of power? Yes, the great ones meant to suck this realm dry to stock their own reserves. Yord indeed has great power from us. It is the power of the Guardian World, as you say, and more. A tortured soul, Graham, just as you are now."

"No..." It wasn't true. Couldn't be! Kagetsu couldn't have sent him here in order to craft a new power source and release his lost sister from Yord's clutches... He would NOT believe he was another's pawn!

The four aspects within him welled up, combined in a great rumbling surge of emotion. The force did not attack him. Propelled by his inner turmoil, it became a thing to be reckoned with, a protector, and shot out at Four. The huge mental whip hit solidly against some kind of barrier and came flying back into Graham who reeled at its recoil. Instantly floored he found himself, and trying to shake the effect. He was shaking.

"Hm. Perhaps not as much control as I'd thought." Four looked away a moment, then back on Graham.

"Please. Just tell or show me how to return to the Guardian World."

"I can't. I don't know how."

"You don't... know?" It was true. The others inside him again combined voice to pound at his mind that no lies had ever been spoken to him. "All Banished come here..."

"Correct."

"And you eat the weak ones."

Four paused slightly. "Five may seem overly zealous, but it is not our job to destroy. We help the Banished, Graham."

"How?"

"You, for example? Are trapped."

"And I am trying very hard to flee this trap!" he spat.

"Oh? You certainly aren't listening. Yes, you are caged, but not by us, not by Kagetsu. He stripped you from the Guardian World, yes. And all Banished end up in your position: trapped. But it is we who have taken it upon ourselves; inherent risk, pain, and all; to help those who've become shut up within themselves. We are outside of the cage, Graham, but have stepped in to help you. You are the one locked inside, just as you are the one with the key."

Locked within himself? This whole place was inside of him? How could it make so much sense and still be beyond his imagining?

"You must let go of what trapped you here in the first place. And you must release the others. It is unkind to contain your helpers."

Graham hesitated. He didn't want them to go. He liked having them within.

Oh, how they wailed back at him! No! Don't think it! You are Yord!

Yes, it had done this very thing. Confined and held captive four of the five entities. But not this one before him. Not Four. The powerful one. Powerful indeed.

Graham ignored the cries of the others and started forward. He allowed Desire to well up, drowning out all else. He must have this powerful one! He would have run and taken Four up but his legs grew leaden. Humanity and Compassion chained him in place. He struggled. "Why fight me? I control you now!"

"Not precisely. They have just learned their links to their aspects are not completely severed. They can't be."

Growling in rage, he tried them one by one but could not budge the tough aspects. One, Two, Three, and Five all aligned within him to their respective aspects and clung fiercely to their control. They would not be moved.

"Let me go! Let me GO!" Graham screamed and struggled on. One step. And another.

"I... only... want... back! I need you, ... to try!"

"You can attempt to take me. Yord failed."

"I... won't!" Another step. Another. Just a few more to reach his goal. He ignored the other voices, the other aspects' demands, the pain. Everything he shut out to trudge as hard and fast as he could press.

Four was nearly in reach yet it did not move.

Graham strained to lift an arm, internally throttling the hindering Compassion. Logic stayed his feet now but he needn't move them. Five, in control of Desire, held his right arm but it was weakest of the entities. He focused there.

His right arm came up, inch by inch, straining.

Four smiled slightly and extended a hand toward Graham.

Their fingers touched.

The world swirled in a dark, swallowing mass with no up nor down. Terrible vertigo! For just a moment. Then all was normal, Four gone. Graham felt... How to describe it?...

"Mildly disappointing yet it doesn't matter?" The clear and grinning face of Four appeared in front of him.

"But... I..."

"A taste of me resides in you now, yes. The others will no longer try and stop you. I've had a quick talk with them."

Awe, fear, confusion. His own emotions. "What are you?"

The face merely smiled.

Four was by far the most alien of the group. Intaking even a small part... His guts twisted, his head spun. He felt both physically and mentally ill at even this smallest fraction of a dizzying intellect crowding all else inside of him. He felt as if he were a slow snail trying to creep along a busy roadway of wisdom, trying not to get smashed by sweeping tracks of knowledge. Four's aspect was wisdom. And Four could wield it like a Holy Master.

All of Four appeared, kneeling beside the overwhelmed Graham. "Now that I know I've got your complete attention," and that I can indeed overpower you, "are you ready to listen?"

Graham really didn't know if Four had spoken it all or not. There were Four's thoughts, echoing in his head. He couldn't speak even to beg for an end to the deafening buzz of wisdom whispers, nor the frightful shadow of Knowing that clung right with it. He could not block it, ignore it. Neither could he scream.

"Ah... Give me your hand. Come now, you can still move. I simply want all of me back."

Graham tried. He thought he had never tried so hard in his life! Just to raise his arm toward Four. It wouldn't move. Not a finger. The muscles wouldn't contract because his brain was locked. Locked... Trapped!

"You will very likely go mad if you do not give me up." For the first time stern, Four caught his eye and held it in that unshakable, terrible gaze. "It is against my station to touch a creature who is not willing, now try!"

He was afraid. So very afraid. More than any time in his life. Such terrible things Wisdom knew, could do. He... he didn't want to touch Four again!

 _Don't be afraid of me._ Four said from inside. _Just push me away. Where is your great determination and fortitude now? I thought you_ _wanted_ _to go home._

Its taunts summoned an anger bolstered by Humanity's fiery indignation. Desire's needs would not be excluded and lent a hand behind the first to push the unwanted and harmful Wisdom up, out, anywhere! Compassion's friendly touch cushioned their force so that the aged one was not damaged in the struggle. Logic just told him it would work. But it was enough. And the more Graham heaved the sticky Wisdom out, the easier it was to do until he could summon the strength to physically push up from the ground. His right hand split and shot out, hurdling Wisdom back to its maintainer. His natural inclination to follow through with the motion landed Four a great blow. The man-creature flew backwards at the assault.

Breath held and heart thumping, Graham stepped timidly near. Had he... killed it? Compassion had no effect on that last strike, so focused were they all on removing Wisdom from Graham. Logic shook a metaphysical head at his impetuous use of Desire's fervent power. Humanity was weeping quietly. Wisdom was gone. Not a trace.

Four did not appear to be breathing but neither was their blood coming from an arm all but ripped off. He would have nudged it with a foot or felt for a pulse but Desire strongly did not want him to touch Four again. Graham agreed. Logic similarly, Compassion sad and trying to ease the sorrow of Humanity. Graham shuddered at the memory of the feel of it in him. Never again...

All of the aspects were no longer fighting- him or each other. The entities maintaining them lay quiet. Pensive and aware, but unsure.

"... Four?" Graham called. If he had killed it...

Little catches of lightning- brief flickers- started around the entity's body. Graham stepped quickly back. The others did not know what this was either.

The electrical flurry centered around the torn arm and appeared to mend it! The 'body' sat up slowly. Eyelids opened but nothing in them. Cavernous black holes... Acquiring a brightness as the lightning passed through the sockets, the eyes reformed and stared at him. Four managed a brief smile.

Graham did not know what to say. Such a powerful entity...

Two ushered Compassion to his aid, knowing that Graham needed some internal bolstering. While within him, Two would do just that. It was part of the job.

 _It is?_ Graham thought-asked, feeling very small and young and lost. He ventured, _What do you do?_

Four said this very thing. _Many who come here require such help. Being Banished is a horrible thing to go through. All here know that. To be cast out by another, rejected... Most become trapped inside of themselves, as have you. It is our place to help those who are lost._

Everything... Everything that had happened was merely going on inside his head. He'd been told this before but to believe it, and feel it. A devastating impact now that his mind was less clouded.

 _Yes. And much easier to converse with you now._

"But you were planning to... to drain me!" he accused, most pointedly at Five, and challenging it to prove its intentions not malign.

Who replied, _I cannot help who I am, nor deny my weaknesses, but that is my strength. To use and control it. I am still learning, true, but I would not have harmed you. What we... eat?... are emotional traces. You leave marks here wherever you go. Particularly attractive to me and the others seeking an answer to your growing concern. I came to a poor decision and tried to lull the fine traces out of you. To subdue and calm you._

 _We are drawn to emotional traces. There is no other way in which to find the lost, the hurting. We who do not put out much of a signal immediately homed in on yours._ thought One.

"But those false children. What are they? I have seen them since I first opened my eye here."

Two spoke up. _I called them here to help. They are simple creatures, also Banished. They hold no position as we five and have limited intelligence. I felt they might be of comfort but you saw completely through any attempts. It was incorrect judgment on my part. I did not read your complex traces accurately and have so become responsible for how far deeply embedded we are here._

Two meant... embedded in him? Quite so. They were all in him, trapped, just as he was stuck somewhere in himself. Twice again as much, as he'd caged them without hope of escape. Where did the cycle end, and begin?

"But where is here?" Nothing seen here inside him had been intentionally created by him, had it?

"That is my doing."

Four! Graham's eye flicked up.

It seemed alright, was standing, even held a little smile in place.

"A lost mind wanders freely. We needed a locus to communicate with you. Once inside your personal reality, I merely tailored it to a suitable environment. You can change it if you like. This is all you." He poked a finger at a very solid-looking wall.

"Are... are you-?"

"I am not injured, though you did catch me off-guard."

"But you were hurt! I saw..."

"You saw a translation of the effect a mental blast can have on another mind. It hurt, don't doubt that," and Four rotated the sore shoulder. "but you did not actually wound me." The entity of wisdom smiled anew. "There is much for you to learn."

Graham's head sagged. He was doing wrong. He had been undermining all attempts to help him. Tiara would chastise him if she were present to see this, see his weakness, his wretchedness. No, he would never want her to see him this way! Was it any wonder she chose to ignore his absence? Pretend he'd never existed?

Head falling in his hand, he wept, ashamed.

The entities within him crowded around, tried to wield their offices again. Yanked from them by Graham, their efforts were ineffectual against his own great inner burden.

He saw it, felt it. He'd caused such grief. And he knew how to try to make up for it.

He released them.

And they flew from him like escaping birds on desperate wings, their aspects tight in hand.

It drained Graham. Even in that short time, he'd become dependent on the aspect's powers. But he could still stand, and did. And looked about.

What now?...

"Release yourself, of course." Four smiled and disappeared.

"But what is out there?!" he called, afraid. What if it were some horrible place? That would explain why so many here preferred to live a short but familiar time inside themselves. Was it a barren place? A wasteland? What else could it be where the Banished were forced?

"Why don't you come and see?"

And after Four's unseen words, there was nothing at all left but Graham. Not a wisp of presence, not even the false children. Nor the mitchuu. The shadow of grievous loneliness covered over his surroundings until all became black.

But he didn't want to be alone!

"Come back!"

No one came.

And why should they, after how he'd treated them? They'd only tried hard to help. He could have hurt them. He nearly did. Poor Three had not spoken to him at all. He chased everyone away! He always chased others away. Why not wander here until he was dead? Why allow he, a dangerous animal, to be loose even in the Banished World? Why not...? Why...?

Why? He did not mean to drive others out. He didn't mean it. And... He didn't want to be alone forever.

Tiara...

In his heart, no matter the circumstances or futility, he still cried out to her, longed to serve her, better than before. He truly was a hopeless creature. Driven to such unacceptable lengths... He had to make amends. He could not hope to face Tiara again until some recompense was given to the creatures here, some measure to make up for the pain suffered. He would do anything asked, accept any punishment that lay ahead. He would atone, and in doing so, perhaps then find a way back. Or perhaps Tiara would still keep hope and eventually be able to free him herself. Perhaps that is why she had not. She might be watching even now!

Graham lifted his head. "I am lost, Tiara, but I will not dishonor you further. And, when you think me fit, I shall return. Wait for Graham. Tiara?"

He waited many beats, listening, feeling nothing.

So be it.

Resolve. Yes, he would have to see the Banished World. There was no chance of returning to Tiara if he remained stuck within his own mind. She might even be calling to him, or had been all this time!

An echo of Four's words rang in his head. _You must let go of what trapped you here in the first place..._

Let go of what trapped me...

"But what has caged me?" Graham knew his frustration would not help. He let out a growling sigh, looked down at his hand. "What has me caged?..." He made a fist, then let it go. Let go of what?

Let go... Let go of everything?

It must work. He could not stay here forever. And so he let go. Sand through his fingers, wind through his hair, he let go of the world. Fears, doubts, loves, losses, wishes, hates. And, just briefly, his boundless determination.

It felt like falling asleep at first, then simply falling from a great height. He wasn't afraid. Not until it turned to a choking sensation. He could not breath! Graham flailed and was hammered by loud sounds, crushing touch, harsh smells, horrid tastes, and finally blurred, too bright sights. And in a great gasp, he sucked in lungfuls of air. The touch turned gentle, soft. The smells mountainy with trees and dirt. The air on his tongue heavenly sweet. The sounds to soothing voices. His eye blinked rapidly to clear the blur and subsequent watering.

"Graham? You'll be fine. It's all right."

He stopped struggling at Two's words.

"Where-?" Attacked by a fit of coughs, he damned the strong light for temporarily cutting his vision. He had to see!

A cup put to his lips, he drank until it was empty.

"There is more."

He gave an eager nod, never having known such a terrible thirst.

Holding a hand up to shield his eye, Graham's vision cleared so that he could see Two approaching. She was as she appeared before he... before taking her.

She said nothing but passed him the cup.

Eye adjusting to the prevalent bright sun, Graham examined this place while sipping the water. A desert. Dry, but not wholly without life. He could see... things... flying and scurrying. Not many but enough for a casual glance to assure him the land was not barren. He lay in an immense valley. There were snow tipped mountains, trees, and a stream not far. Calm, quiet, and lonely.

"Ah, so it has entered finally!" came a booming voice.

Graham whirled, knowing Five instantly but not trusting its presence. Like Two, Five really appeared as it had the last time. A brilliant star of light, but not hurtful to the eye. A nice glow. Inviting...

"Please," Two told it, a hand raised to command. "This one has been through enough."

Five floated back a bit. "Very well," it huffed.

Something shimmered to Graham's right. His eye tracked it, saw it alter, coalesce into a body shape. Like a mirage, the air and landscape distorted as it approached. This was... One?

The obscurity became solid as it neared. A too-perfect and too-red man-creature. Yes, it was One.

The humanoid bowed to him. "Greetings, face to face, Graham."

"Three?" Two enquired.

"Recovering. You recall how it was last time." For a starlight, Five sounded as if it had eyes to roll in tried patience. "For the second-oldest, that one certainly needs a bit more practice."

"I would say a vacation," One imparted.

"Neither is necessary," Two broke in. "Everything comes and goes but we are the ocean waves, not the fish in the sea. We are solid. I've no doubt that Three will join us shortly."

An odd shellish creature of six legs, only a foot in height, scurried up to Two. She kneeled, smiled, and nodded. It scurried away.

Another creature, purple furry and bipedal, very large, appeared before One. It bowed very low, its head nearly to the ground, and uttered a garbled, "Thank you."

One returned the bow and the creature disappeared.

These were other residents of the Banished Worlds. Others like him.

Though Graham was being ignored, he felt very awkward. He spoke up. "I... I am sorry."

The three maintainers regarded him curiously.

"Sorry? For being what you are?"  
"Five..." One warned.

"What? It's not like it won't know soon enough."

His fists clenched at being referred to as 'it' so often- Wait... Fists!

Graham stared down at the new replacement arm. Crude, yet bearing resemblance to that which Tiara had given him...

One caught his surprise. Hard not to as he felt over the shiny metallic surface. "Do you like it? A fairly good achievement if I say so myself."

"You made it?" Graham flexed the four digits, curled them in and watched them obey.

"Yes. Based on the previous model in your head. I wish I could've found that item for you but things get so lost in the Banished Realm."

Everything lost. Possessions as well as those who possessed them. "Have you no names? Have they been lost as well?" he asked, rising slowly. He was still weak. Two with her sturdy form helped him stand.

"Oh, no," replied One. "We remember. But names come from those who cast us out. Here, we have given ourselves new names, and our own titles. I am Misth, One of the Found." The being bowed to him.

"Kee'klee'ehna, Two of the Found."

"I've always been fond of Foriss myself. Foriss the Five, no longer so new of the Found."

"And here is Three." One had turned and now indicated an odd creature approaching. It was less string-like but much like a live ribbon, or a snake that was absurdly long and thin. It came near but kept a distance and Graham knew the creature feared him still. What surprised him was that it now gave an undeniable impression of being female, with large shy eyes.

"...Hellow," Three hissed softly, balling its great length in an indecipherable mass underneath its head.

"Hello," Graham returned without a second thought beyond how captivating the simple creature was. Breaking his eye away, he glanced about. The sun would soon set and there was the final maintainer to show. "Where is Four?"

"Oh, here and there." Five chuckled, its glow pulsing slightly.

"I am here." It was the voice of Four but no other sign.

"What...?" It became hard to ask the question and Graham wasn't sure why. Did he still fear this thing?

"We were on the subject of names," Two prompted, cutting through Graham's half-formed question.

"I am Oscillattthene, Tthreee of the Ffound." Her voice carried like an echo, head ducking further behind the loops and knots of her body. Massed but hypnotic and captivation. Very different than the entity she'd appeared to be in his head.

Four's chuckle fell from the atmosphere like dew. "So now we are finally together. Graham, we have-"

"Wait. What about you?" he interrupted the air, not knowing where to focus the question.

"Ah, yes. What about me," Four repeated slowly.

"Four was the first of us, teacher to us, councilor and first maintainer."

"Five," the invisible entity paused the star. "Is it not my story to tell?"

"Er... Yes. Sorry."

"I might be best described as the first Banished. One needs a place to be Banished first. I am the mind attached to that place. I am the wind, the earth, the mitchuu at your feet."

"Like Yord is the Throne," Graham muttered, awed, for in one instant a mitchuu was there. The next, it dissipated like sand.

"Yes. In a way. Like Yord, I can control my current make-up, but I cannot alter myself indefinitely. Nor can I be un-Banished. I am merely... Four, as introduction, location, and everything else to define me."

To be both a place and a thing... It was no wonder Four was so powerful.

He felt a solemn presence draw near. "Even power is finite, Graham. We cannot help you return."

He'd been told this before. He could not afford to believe there was no way back.

"But," Four halted the brewing opposition in Graham's mind. "There is a proposition to discuss."

His guard came up. "Proposition?"

"You've become familiar with the concept of wielding aspects under certain positions. We aid those who've been trapped here. In doing so, we often learn a great deal. About what they know and can do. We would be willing to look for any who might have some knowledge of how to leave me."

"In exchange for what?" Four said proposition, not favor.

"Become one of us."

Eye narrowing, Graham instinctively threw up a mental wall.

"Ouch. No need for such defensiveness."

And he sensed the entity pull away from him slightly. He hadn't hurt it. It was merely allowing him space.

"We aren't in positions to do harm, Graham," Two said.

"But you can alter people," he argued, seeing Four's suggestion thus.

"Oh no, no. It is merely in teaching you how to use yourself better within Four, and how being within Four allows certain... advantages," clarified One.

"Like tracking and sensing specific emotional traces," added Five.

"Like catching thoughts," One furthered.

"Aand haviiing perssonal asspectts reeleassed," the shy Three put in, sounding resolute.

"They are a bit difficult at times. We won't fool you. But to master one is quite rewarding," Five continued.

"Released? I don't understand."

"In each of us were strong qualities Four saw which, if given enough time, would lash out and consume us. Because we are inside another entity, our environment tends to personify such things something awful. Yord would not accept our offer and soon, its overwhelming love turned to a greedy uncontrollable mass. By Four's doing, it was locked into... Er, well, let it be called a nexus, though what was in your head certainly came as a surprise. Shape tends to be different in here than out there."

"But I am no different," Graham remarked after Five's prattling.

"Not now, but you could be. Especially if you do not learn from Four how to control your own very substantial aspect. Now that you have come here, it will only be a matter of time before it starts pestering you until either it is subdued or takes you over completely as it did Yord. You must make the choice to lead such a life or go insane."

"And yet you are still confused." Four sighed, as if a parent patiently explaining to a child. "You do not see what is inside you that you will soon face. You are not a worthless creature, Graham. Think no more such thoughts. Ah, but you still do not see your value?"

"No!" He tried not to shout but he wanted to speak before the thoughts were plucked from his head. "I have nothing to offer your cause but a life of troubles."

Five laughed. "What a funny thing it is that it doesn't see!"

"If you persist in offending me," Graham growled, flexing his hands. "I will make certain you see how good I am at starting and ending troubles."

The star-creature twinkled at him, and backed away. So did the string snake-creature, Three.

Calm Four said patiently, "All of you back away. It is starting."

The others heeded his warning without question. It made Graham wary and confused but that was inconsequential, fading in and out. Something creeping in his head... A growing presence, a powerful one. It was in him. Deep inside of him. And it wanted out.

Fishing, thrashing, struggling, biting! Pulsing, calling, growing, inviting... No!

"What do I do?!" he screamed, clutching his arms to him for the fearful thoughts of using them to rend the five to shreds.

"Control it," Four said simply.

"I told you it was substantial," said Five, fading from sight.

They were all going?

Where had his will gone? He wanted to fight it... but why? Thoughts of Tiara that before sustained him now frightened him. He didn't want to go back. She'd hurt him. She'd yell and he would take it all. Why? Why wouldn't anyone help him? Where were those weak thoughts coming from? From him? ... So many questions! And doubt. Seeping loneliness and terrible doubt!

The thing inside him was growing and as it grew, he recognized the shape and overpowering feel of it. The name eluded him but he knew this thing. It was a great beast, a spiky stubborn black-purple brute, and it wanted out.

There was no doubt of that. The great pain in his head mounted without care or worry, as if the thing would explode from his skull! Thoughts of Tiara, comforting and sustaining before, now drove the beast to agonizing efforts. Graham was beyond screaming, frightened and horrified and very lost. He wished only to curl in on himself and disappear. There was no controlling this dominant beast. It would surely escape him and leave a sad husk, because what would he be without it? He had never given in before, to anything, but this beast was his will. Graham submitted, lay down and rolled over. He gave up.

Fully expecting the beast to plow through him and rend him to shreds, Graham was surprised to find himself cognizant and unhurting. The beast was focused solely on escape. It desired only to be out of him, not harm him. In fact, it viewed Graham as one might see a room without windows. A prison.

It was a desperate, feverish thing, Graham noted, observing the brute attempting to metaphysically slam through him. It was also not as smart as he. It knew what it wanted, was powerful enough to take it, but it could not yet see the door for the room in its way. In actuality, Graham did not at first see it either. Being forced into himself upon his submittal, he knew that was his current state. He could come away from it easily but the pain awaited him out in reality. He would stay, coward, and wait for the beast to leave.

And then, while watching its phenomenal efforts is when Graham saw the door. It didn't look especially special. Merely a small, child-sized door. Unmarked. He could not name what miniscule portion of him had created such a 'door' in himself. He wondered why it came into being at all.

And then the beast caught on. It made instant speed for the door, examined it, and gathered its full strength to splinter it to bits. The beast wound up its great force for a single blow.

Graham panicked, his eye shut tight.

The beast struck, without malign intent but with a will like no other. Graham's will.

The door... clicked, locking.

He hadn't realized he'd tensed up... Graham cracked his eye open, wondering what had happened.. He found himself against the door on the opposite side, gripping tightly the knob. Both hands locked in a steely vice to keep the latch from turning.

Oh, how the beast howled and pounded, pushed and scratched. It was angry and desperate, as if freedom meant air to a suffocating thing. But Graham held on. He was frightened. The thing might very well consume him. Why then could it not escape? Or, rather, how was it that he could keep it in? He was afraid of it...

And then Graham saw. He saw it all unfold. He was not fearing for himself but for others. He didn't care if he were destroyed, but for the beast to attack those who'd helped him, or if it came after Tiara... No! And so he clutched the doorknob tight and would not let the beast out.

He saw also what it really was, the great beast inside of him. Four had mentioned it slightly. It was Determination.

It had a name now, a face. Graham's fright left him. Yes, he knew this thing. It was his greatest force, truly. And now that he was gaining back a will to live, how could he subdue such a personification? How does one rope a creature that knows no bind? He needed the ultimate binding.

Now that he'd decided to live and remain sane and protect those who would do so for him, Graham scanned the area about him. No... _Remember, this is_ _me_ _._ _It_ _is me. I can be the rope. I am already the rope._

For what he had in mind to do, his fear returned. No getting out of it. He couldn't stay inside himself forever. Graham set the door to lock behind him and entered the room.

It did not wait. Huge clawed black-purple arms lashed out, slamming him into the wall. As Graham expected.

The thing pulled back three more arms to pound him in but already it was changing. The arms became two, the creature's massive form became a body. It took on Graham's likeness. The changes swift, by the time it let go of him, he knew he'd won.

Confusion came from the black-purple Graham of Determination. And something new. Fear. Graham could feel its every thought, quite likely how Four sensed the thoughts of the beings inside it.

"I will not harm you," He told it. "I am your air, your earth, your very being. You are a part of me."

Stubborn, it did not believe him. It needed no one and no thing. And believing this, it attempted to crush him- even with just two limbs. But it couldn't reach all the way around him now. It tried again and again, bruising but doing little else to Graham. His own fear gone, it returned to the Graham of Determination in violet bursts of panic.

"Don't contain me! I will die!" it shouted in grand voluminous tones.

Graham placed a gentle hand on one of the arms around him. "You won't die. I need you, as you need me. However..." And Graham pried off both limbs. "You must do as I say. I am first. You are second."

"Will you not release me?" It was frightened, sure it would go mad if cooped up.

"I will, at another time, but you must come back to me. Do you understand?"

It nodded slowly. "But why will I die without you?"

"Because I am first. You are second."

"Then I will go back. I do not wish to die."

"Good." Graham offered a smile, but more for his accomplishment than to console the presence of determination. "I wouldn't want you to either."

"Very well done, Graham."

"What is that?" The Graham of Determination welled up at Four's comment. It meant to attack Four. Graham grabbed it to stay the thing but, as he did, it turned to a black-purple mist that he absorbed.

Graham looked in his empty hands, feeling no emptiness at all. He said to Four, "I understand."

"Yes." The voice smiled. "Sometimes this is what one needs to get the point."

"And that's all I have to do?"

Four's chuckle echoed. "Oh, no. My very being personifies aspects. It will be rattling around in your head now as long as you're here. However, you have fought it bravely and with just intent. I doubt it can or would try to take you over again. Not like that, anyway."

"But it is my determination," Graham said.

"Yes. And will, like the others, need to be kept in check. Every aspect has a distinct flavor, a personality, which only the host-entity will come to know best. This is your control. As it is also your power."

Shuddering, Graham recalled the horrible emotions inflicted by absorbing Compassion, Humanity, Wisdom, Logic, and Desire.

Four laughed, a hearty and whimsical sound. "Most can't! You are indeed special, Graham."

"Special..." Again, his head sagged in shame. He looked at both his hands, saw only what they'd done. What he'd done.

"Determination is a fascinating trait. It drives to nearly any extreme imaginable, but you have harnessed it. Determination no longer has complete control over you. Oh, yes, Graham. Long before you were Banished, you'd been driven solely by your determination. It grew and became an intense part of you. Now personified, it manifested into the huge and formidable creature you bested. To have created and thrived on such a powerful virtue to begin with, you are special."

Graham thought on that, on the powerful aspect within him. Not alien and frightening like the others. Not anymore. He felt it poking about meekly, testing the walls so to speak. He knew his Determination and now how to control it. There wasn't any need to linger within himself.

Just as he knew how to control Determination, Graham could freely go in and out of his inner self. As a highly adaptable creature, it was easy now. Recovering was not so easy. Coughing as he sat up and blinking off the evening's rays, Graham felt weak. How much time had passed?

"Two days this time."

Graham frowned, thinking his question to Four to spare a parched throat.

"Nearly five before. But that is normal when one ends up inside me. Here." A shell of water appeared on the sandy ground.

Graham eagerly accepted the drink. "Where are they?" he asked after quenching his thirst.

"Oh... Hidden."

"If I'd failed, would...? My Determination would have killed them, wouldn't it?"

"It would have tried. It would have tried for me and I would have been forced to do something unpleasant but none of that is necessary. Don't dwell so, Graham. You control it now. That's all that matters."

There came a knawing at his belly he knew to be hunger but he ignored it. Two, Three, Five, and One were fading into view. They were smiling.

"Congratulations!" Five pulsed.

"You've beaten it!" Two leaped, kicking with her front legs in jubilation.

"I had no doubt," One replied.

"Vverry ggoodd." Three coiled and coiled her loops before settling delicately on the ground.

Still, he could not share their enthusiasm. He had no right.

"Graham..." Two placed a comforting hand on his shoulder.

Something rippled through the air, the ground, through Graham. The others were keen to it also, alert. He froze, his predatory instincts immediately swinging into effect. It had been a scream, streaking down from the sky like a comet, and it tasted rather nice... Taste? Graham gasped as another instinct overtook him. The instinct to consume such a fleeting morsel. A part of him unknown pulled at the echo of the emotion, sucked it in, and his stomach complained no more. It caused a great stir in his Determination, and a great desire to track the source of the scream down.

"You must be careful of that. Another thing one needs to learn to control. Gluttony is not tolerated by Us, Six," Four warned, then chuckled. The others joined in, moving off toward the distant mountains. "That was a new arrival. You've much to learn, Six. Would you like to observe this first time?"

Graham followed, wary of Four's words. He hadn't answered anything to joining their efforts here. It was presumptuous and rude to call him a new name. 'Six', indeed! And what did Four mean by "first time"? He really wouldn't join their cause for all the assumptions they were making.

And yet... he agreed he had much to learn, including how to live here within Four. He would not become one of them. Not unless it was the only way to delve inside such new arrivals and discover if perhaps one of them, one day, might hold the answer to fleeing the body of Four forever. With such vast determination as had always been at his disposal, now alive and kicking literally as well as figuratively, he had no doubt that he would one day escape.


End file.
